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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Where It All Began...

Where It All Began...

When I think of my life currently and who I am now, which is a person of not just physical sickness but emotional sickness as well.  OMG!  I said it.  I am not just physically unhealthy but I am emotionally unhealthy as well and to be honest with you I'm not even sure where and when it began.  My therapist yesterday explained to me that I have to take out of the equation of who I was before and think about who I am now and take the steps forward to who I want to be.

But being this analytical person I think to myself don't I have to know where it all began?  Shouldn't I know how I got here? Shouldn't I identify the path that I've gone down so that I can be sure if I come to that crossroad again that I take a different path?

In my mind part of my emotional pain stems from things that I have buried one on top of the other, over the years and I continued to cover with some sort of toxic band-aid (aka in my case food) which really did not allow my pain or sores to heal.  I mean it makes sense to me to have that understanding of where it all began, but I'm not a therapist and God answered my prayers he blessed me with an opportunity to receive one on one help which is something I have been wishing for a very long time. 

So, my quest of figuring it where it all began will be placed on hold until maybe my therapist sees some healing within me where I can take a look at where it all began.  MMMM well at least that is what I hope!!!


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