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Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve and pathetic

I am 445 pounds and for the first time in a long time I actually feel up to do something fun.  I even have an invite to go somewhere this evening but had to turn it down because I can't do a whole lot of walking and I don't want to slow anyone down because I have to keep stopping.  This shit is getting really old.  I simply can't do it anymore.  I have to make a change in my life so that I can live and when I say live I don't mean stay alive  mean live.  I am 42 years old and I have spend my New Years Eve like someone who is 82 this is completely ridiculous.  I am so over this. 

I have said it once I have said it twice the blogging for me is completely and totally therapeutic so I am going to hope and pray that it assists me in being disciplined, focused, and consistent with my new lifestyle.

This is definitly going to be a challenge as my husband and daughter will not be participating in it with me this go around.  But I have to remain strong and use my blog to help me through the rough patches I know I'm about to go through.  I am going to put in as much energy as I can into my blog so that it will truly reflect the good and the bad of my journey.

Here we go 10 days to D-Day!!!

Signed,

"This is the last time I will be in the house on New Year's  Eve because of my physical condition"

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